The Mindset Forge
In Season Five, The Mindset Forge focuses on helping men between 40 - 60 years old maximized this chapter of life by building strength, discipline, purpose and a proactive mindset.
During Season's one through four, you will fantastic content focused mainly on successful athletes and performing artists who've learned how to show up for the big moments of sports, performance and life.
The Mindset Forge
Becoming your Strongest & Healthiest Self can be a Lonely Road w/ Barton Bryan
Are you prepared to fall in love with a bad ass, healthier, more disciplined version of yourself? That's the promise of today's conversation. But if you are, you're going to have to give up some of the average comforts of life. As we journey into the challenges of embracing a thriving lifestyle in our 40s and 50s, we discuss the potential loneliness and the immense joy in letting go of old habits. We explore how these changes can influence our relationships, particularly with our significant others, and the importance of developing self-respect to stay resilient in the face of temptation.
We also dive into the power of simple daily routine changes that can transform your wellbeing and strengthen family bonds. Balancing parenting and personal growth can be a tricky act, but making mindful choices and engaging in meaningful activities with our children can create a sense of purpose. From saying no to activities that hinder your goals to discovering new connections that uplift your fitness journey, this episode is an empowering guide to navigate your way towards a healthier and happier you. So, tune in and start charting your path to transformation.
Email: Barton@bartonguybryan.com
Website: http://bartonguybryan.com
Use this link to get a 30 minute discovery call scheduled with Barton regarding the Team Bryan Wellness Concierge Fitness Program
https://calendly.com/bartbryan/conciergecoachingcall
My 3 Top Episodes of the first 100:
7 Essentials to Building Muscle after 40
3x Olympic Gold Medalist Brendan Hansen
MMA Strength and Conditioning Coach Phil Daru
The road to getting in great shape in your 40s and 50s is hard. You know that, that goes without saying. But it's also a lonelier road than you might think, and that's what we're going to talk about today. You're listening to the Mindset Ford Podcast. I'm Barton Bryan, your host, working and helping men between 40 and 60 really make this chapter of their lives the best one it can be, and that's by looking at fitness, strength, motivation. Obviously we're talking about discipline, daily habits, that type of stuff, so that we can really create the best version of ourselves with the experience we have from our 20s and 30s into our 40s, but stay strong, become more disciplined than we were in our early parts of our lives and really transition into this middle age with great power, strength and will. And so that's what we're going to talk about today, specifically about the loneliness, and I use that word very specifically here because I don't want you to think that doing this, everyone's going to just cheer you on and think it's great, and you will have some of those, especially when you start out. The more you need to get in shape, the more early on you'll have those people cheering you on and say, hey, I'm proud of you, I see you get on the gym, you're posting on social media that you're going for a run, and then you have the gym and that's great. You'll have those people encouraging you. But when it gets hard this time of year, honestly, if you're a football fan or your friends are into football or whatever the sport it could be anything soccer, baseball, basketball, whatever as you get into the season there's always a reason to celebrate, to have fun, to watch TV, drink beer, to eat a bunch of food that you know you shouldn't be eating, and there's a lot of events, activities and, honestly, as you get older and if you have more friends, you're going to have more options and that's fantastic, good for you.
Speaker 1:But listen, here's where it gets hard. You can't be both. The older version of you probably did all those things and didn't really think about the ramifications of what that does to your body, not just physically by gaining weight, but mentally, emotionally, just fatigues your body. It doesn't give you any momentum at all. And so when you get into that place where you're trying to lose weight, you're trying to get in shape, you're building some momentum, you're hitting the gym, you're going on runs, you're eating well, your fridge is starting to look like a healthy person's fridge. You're taking care of yourself, you're making great choices, but oftentimes Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, those things are happening and then Friday, saturday, sunday, the options start to come up.
Speaker 1:Oh, my buddy's having this thing. Oh, there's a thing at the lake house that sounds awesome, and you have to be able to say no, not to everyone all the time, and that's why I'm gonna give you this caveat, right? Because some of y'all are like I can't do that. There's this thing. It's like 10 a year, right? Thanksgiving, christmas, super Bowl, nba finals, whatever Like. You pick your 10, your birthday, your wife's birthday, whatever it is. You got 10 days a year. Have fun, throw down, eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want, not gonna hurt you, right? 10 days a year. More than that, ridiculous, unnecessary. That's not who you are right Now, when I talked about a few weeks ago in my solo cast episode, where I was really talking about deciding that version of yourself you're going to be who you need to be when you arrive, in a sense, at that fit, discipline version of yourself, you have to start falling in love with that guy and start wanting to be that guy on a daily basis, because I promise you, there's the old version of yourself back here that was really comfortable and kind of lazy and didn't make the best choices health wise, but he was a lot of fun or he enjoyed life right.
Speaker 1:And you have to kind of let that guy go and you have to focus on this version of yourself that you're going to be. And I've been training for 16 years. I have seen so many success stories and I've seen a lot of people who have success had a journey of losing weight or of getting healthy or getting their life in order, and then I bumped into them a couple of years down the road and they got right back to where they were and they've done some psychological studies on this like the biggest loser. They looked at early season biggest loser applicants, people that lost a lot, a bunch of weight, people that had so much success and almost every single one of them had gained most of the weight back and had fallen back into the same habits and one of the things that they realized with people who didn't have that happen to them.
Speaker 1:And I've seen people Camp Gladiator, people who really made fitness a lifestyle and really got obsessed about being healthy, being an athlete, being in shape and just doing the work on a daily basis, and it becomes like a redefinition of who they are, like this healthy, athletic version of them is the new them and they fall in love with that. And so, in order to fall in love with that and be that person, you're gonna have to say no. You're gonna have to say no to friends who invite you to places, to cool events that you wish you could go to, to do stuff that you think or maybe even once in a lifetime type things but you know, aren't going to help you get where you want to be. Now, if you're married, check in with your wife. Let her know why you're making the choices, why you're saying no to things that would probably be a lot of fun for the two of you to do. Get her butt into it, of course.
Speaker 1:But boom, you have to have this version of yourself that you're focused on becoming, or else you will eventually fall back into the old version of you. I've seen it before. I know it probably doesn't sound possible like, oh my God, I lose all this weight and I get healthy. I'm going to love who I am. Yeah, you'll think that, but stuff gets comfortable again when you get there and you slowly but surely, you gain it back or you just slip back into old habits. So I don't want to belabor the point, but you get the idea. You've got to fall in love with that version of yourself. You're going to be so next. Your friends are going to cheer you on in the beginning, but eventually it's just going to be annoying because they don't want to be healthy and you do and you're doing all these things and it's getting in their way. Because if you're working out and they're not, or if they're having drinks and partying and watching football all day on a Saturday and you're not, that's annoying to them. They don't really want to hang out with you or they may not even invite you anymore. And you know what? Honestly good. That's just one less thing to say no to.
Speaker 1:Because you need to be that type of person who, on Saturday, you're not looking to lay on the couch and just look and veg out. You're looking to like hey, maybe I'm going on a hike with my family, maybe I'm hitting the gym, we're doing some yoga, some stretching, I don't know. Get creative. It's the weekend, maybe change it up a little bit, but it's got to be fit, it's got to be active, it's got to be that new version of yourself always showing up each and every day. And the cool thing about that, too, is the more you put yourself in situations like that, where you're running trails or at the gym or taking a yoga class, you're going to start surrounding yourself with people who do the same at the same time you do, and so, all of a sudden, you're going to find yourself with people who are choosing not to spend the entire day watching football. And hey, I'm not hating on football, it's great, it's America's fast, I get it, but it is especially here in Texas. It is everything from Friday to Monday night, so it is a time suck, and if you're trying to be the healthy version of yourself, I'm sorry you got it. You got to make a choice. So you know, and I might get some haters on this or that, but that's fine, bring it.
Speaker 1:The point here is really that, like you have to start surrounding yourself with people who have the same lifestyle as you, because, just like it's very demotivating to be around people who just want to drink, eat and party and not give a fuck, you're the only one of your friends or group that does. Like that's going to eventually either pull you down or you're going to start feeling ostracized for being the only guy in that group that, like, actually has fitness goals. But if you put yourself in that other group with some new friends that are really into fitness and working hard and like discipline and toughness, you're going to start finding yourself, you know, around some badass dudes who are working hard, who are you know, who you can kind of strive to be like. And then the other piece of that is listening to podcasts. Obviously you're listening to this one, but you've got opportunities to listen to podcasts with, like, David Goggins talking about his life, so his story. You can listen to his audiobook too, and if you may not like everything that he's about, but I promise you you listen to his story you're gonna get pretty fired up, right. Because even if you're 1% more like David Goggins after listening to him, it's a good thing, because he's got a bad assness inside of him that I think we all can have a little bit more of. Right. His inner Goggins comes out like I love that concept. I gotta have my own inner. You know Barton Bryan is gonna come out and just like he has a can of whoop ass. It's the friggin' gym with him we're going to run with, like you gotta have that toughness, you gotta have that grit. And so you know, listening to podcasts with people who are elite in the realm of fitness and discipline and that kind of stuff can help bring your mindset along in that direction and you can start vibing with that type of a mindset and it will help you make better decisions throughout your day about the work you need to put in the food you need to eat the water you need to drink.
Speaker 1:The little things, right. Sometimes going to the gym's the easy part, right, because you just drive there, go there. You kind of slot it out a part of your day to do it. But it's all the little other things, the micro decisions you make. You know what you're gonna eat, drinking water, going to bed early, putting your phone away, blah, blah, blah. That type of stuff. That is sometimes a harder thing because they're so small it's easy to forget them or just kind of not see them as a big deal.
Speaker 1:But over the course of the day you know if you didn't get enough protein in, you know it ends up being a big deal. Do that for a week and you're under shooting your protein intake. You know your body's suffering from that. You're not getting the results that you want to be getting. Or you're accidentally overeating because you didn't realize that a bagel you know from the whole foods is 360 calories, not 125, that you thought it was Like you could be putting in an extra 250 calories a day times seven. All of a sudden you're not losing weight at all, you know so these little things matter. Just a little tiny incremental things do matter. But the only way you're gonna be able to notice and get the results is you gotta clear away the bullshit. You gotta clear away that stuff. It is not helpful Because I don't care how hard you work money through Thursday, you can derail that whole week's efforts by making one or two bad decisions on Saturday and Sunday because of an event, because of football, because of whatever.
Speaker 1:And it's not to say you can't go to a football game. You just hang out and drink water and find a healthy way to do it. I'm not saying you can't do that. I think it's possible. But you put yourself in the lion's den like going to. It's like an alcoholic who's sober going to a bar and drinking water. I mean, why are you there. So if you feel like you got the discipline to do it, go for it, but if you don't, don't put yourself in that situation, opt out. Thank you very much. No problem, I got my own thing going on Hit the gym, work out.
Speaker 1:Be proud of yourself for what you did the weekend, because I promise you you wake up Monday morning with a weekend that was spot on discipline. You're going to be proud of yourself. You're going to have fire in your belly to go work out harder and keep pushing. You wake up Monday morning, you kind of derail to the weekend. You ate too much, you had a few beers, you knew. You kind of fell back. You're spending all of Monday, probably half a Tuesday, just trying to get back on track. You're falling back, coming forward, falling back, and that's that yo-yo effect. It kind of is purgatory when it comes to being healthy. That's the problem is like man. So many of us can say to ourselves yeah, I used to be able to do that. I could party and then I could just go to the gym and work it off. Yeah, when you're 30, I get it. When you're 40, 45, 50 and beyond, it is just not the same. You know that we have to have that discipline, we have to have that mindset, all right.
Speaker 1:So first of all, fall in love with that version of yourself, who you're going to be, that's paramount. You've got to figure out who you're going to be. What's that person like? How do you get there? You've got to fall in love with the idea of that version of yourself because that will help you let go of the lazier, more comfortable version of yourself that you have to kind of get away from, because that was the version of yourself that wasn't healthy. There must have been great qualities to them. You still are those great qualities, but you've got to let go of the other stuff that wasn't so great. You've got to start heading towards this guy who's super fit, super disciplined, a great dad, great husband, all those things, because it all ties together. You lead yourself well, you'll lead others well. The most powerful person as a leader is somebody that other people are watching him. Man, that guy is disciplined, that guy has self-respect, that guy takes care of his business. Boom, your words are going to matter more when people see you as that person.
Speaker 1:We've got to do those things and we've got to start saying no to the people who want us to fall back and be comfortable doing the things that American Society tells us are fun and great, but we know week by week they don't pay dividend for us, they don't help, they're pulling us the wrong way. Do that and just be okay with that loneliness of your old friends. You may not have as many anymore, you may not feel connected to them anymore, but you haven't really met enough new friends who are committed to fitness, who are working hard, who are doing the things that you're doing yet and there's a loneliness in that place. That's what I wanted to talk about today. Is that be okay with the loneliness, because that part of that loneliness is leveling up.
Speaker 1:I don't want to say people are down here and you're up here, but as you transition from one part of your life to another, you have to let go of things in order to get where you want to be. If you're not able to let go and you keep holding on to these people, these activities that aren't helpful, they'll eventually draw you back to them. If you let go of them, you can get yourself to where you want to be and you'll find a new group. You'll find new activities, new things you love to do. I mean, you could be running a little mud run with your kids and your wife every other Saturday If you live in Texas or wherever there's little mud runs and trail runs and stuff, but you can be doing stuff like that all the time.
Speaker 1:That would be so bonding, so much fun, such an embodiment of who you want to be and who you are right now and the type of dad you want to be. You could be doing that instead of wasting time watching football or whatever. It's always the choices we make that determine the person we are. Thanks again for listening to Mind Step Forward Podcast. Share this episode. Hey, see you next week.
